Sign Language

Ok, my friend Tim totally called me out on something I said. I love how Aristotle talks about in order to be a good person you must do good things, thinking good thoughts doesn't make you good, action makes you good or bad. It's what you do that matters and it's what you do that makes you who you are. I posted on Facebook, "Aristotle was one of the first to promote what we know as the Nike slogan, "Just Do It". He called me out because in my last post I said I felt God pushing me to change my degree to be more associated with Sign Language and that maybe I would do it. What I left out is that all summer God has been reminding me about my passion for Sign Language. One time I was just sitting in my brothers office chatting with him and for the first time in the history of his business (6 years), in walked a deaf customer and I just happened to be there. I knew it was God. There were other similar situations all summer, but despite God speaking to me clearly, I have obviously not heeded His nudges.


After Tim called me out on my last post, I began asking God to be clear and show me if that really was what he wanted me to do. Tim calling me out was my first confirmation. Then I went to church on wednesday. We only have our wednesday Unplugged service once a month and worship was amazing as usual. Then came the sharing. Our music guru, Rami, had a woman stand up to share about yielding to God. She shared about how she felt God calling her to serve youth without role models and teach them about art. When she was done, Rami, told us what she left out. She was well equipped to have a stable, reliable, "normal" job. She was well educated and most people in her life encouraged her to get jobs doing things that she could use her skills to do. However, she heard God asking her to do something different. She yielded to God, she listened to His desire for her life. She gave way to Him and allowed him to give birth to a new vision inside her. She created an organization that pairs adults with underprivileged kids to teach them about art. It struck a chord with me. God used her story to touch my story. I feel this was my second confirmation. God was saying, "Trust me, Yield to me, put aside that normal job you are aiming for and go do what I gave you the passion to do. Sign Language."

So I decided on wednesday to do it. To put my Bachelors degree on hold again. However, a small part of me remained indecisive, unsure, skeptical. Then today, I sat down to do my reading for my English Composition class and the article we were given to do our first paper on is written from the perspective of a deaf woman.  I connected with it right away, but didn't immediately see it as another sign from Dad. However, the story moved me. I had to sit for a moment after reading to just soak it all in. That's when I felt God was showing me, "I'm not going to leave this alone. I have stirred something in your heart, this is your passion. I want to use it." 


So I'm excited. I know that doesn't mean put my schooling on hold, it just means that starting next semester I will be working towards my Associates in ASL (American Sign Language). Alright God, here I am.

God put blogging in me

I know God called me back to school, he made it clear that I was to quit my job. I thought I was quitting to find something better, I even looked for jobs, but then he made it abundantly clear that i was to go back to school. I can't remember what happened, but I know my husband and I prayed over it a lot and it was exactly what He wanted. So I did. I quit my job, I applied to our local community college and off I went.

I am in my second semester and reading a lot in philosophy and God is talking a lot through it. He is also showing up in music and every where else, too. Some days I doubt, some days I don't see it or feel it and I doubt if it's there, but days like today I FEEL it. I KNOW it. He is there. He cherishes me. He has a plan for even me. I'm not athletic, I'm not musical, I'm not GREAT at anything. As a kid I was the 'odd man out'. I didn't fit in and I didn't belong to any group. How on earth could God use me. I had nothing to offer.

Interestingly enough, God put a desire in my heart, but I had no idea at the time. I sat in the pew of my church as I saw my youth leader interpret (Sing Language), the most beautiful song. I still remember the song. Breath of Heaven. Man I love that song.  Everyone loves to watch sign language. It is beautiful, it is complicated, it is powerful. When I married my husband, for our first christmas he got me sign language classes, and so began the passion. That was 6 and a half years ago. I know enough sign language to be frustrated. I am intimated by it and I use my head too much and my heart not enough. I let the self talk and self doubt talk me out of learning more... but God won't let me. He keeps bringing it back up, he keeps shouting from a mountain and if I am really honest with myself... I never feel as alive as I do when I am signing.

I keep feeling God tugging on my heart to trust him. just trust Him. The enemy blocks most strongly what God wants. I feel a road block with sign language, but that isn't from God. It's me. it's the enemy. I am scared to just take a semester to do sign language, but I feel like I NEED to. Maybe, just maybe, i'll do it.